Published April 14th 2005
Publisher:
Nova Keenan
Chief:
Matt Stroud
Nonsense Management:
Nate Bogos
Minister of Propaganda:
Benjamin A. Edwards
Masters of Copy:
Jesse Hicks, Mo Mozuch
Lead Designer:
Doug Crissman
Designers:
Houston McIntyre, Tricia Handke
Writers:
Various Aliases and the occasional actual name
Photographers:
Allison Diesel
Artists of Submission:
Jean-Paul Manzanares, Margaret Mary, Dr.G and Klawdya Rothschild, Skye Blue et al.
Reproduction of Deek Magazine in any manner, in whole or in part, is prohibited without express, written consent of the publisher, who can be reached at words@deekmagazine.com. Deek Magazine reserves the right to edit all materials for clarity and space, and assumes no responsibility for anything, especially our sanity.
We're . still all about parking illegally. It wasn't me, it was lefty and Mr. Bubbles. Jesus built me an aviary and now it's covered with aunts. It could get worse . couldn't it? Pickle breath. Cigarettes make you more sexually appealing. Duuuuude . Shit, my story doesn't beat that. DID YOU KNOW that some day Jesus (and it may be soon) Jesus will [become a hippo]. My friend is a fetus. How can we get the ad of the guy with the MASSIVE COCK!? How do M&Ms have sex? Similar to snakes, who have 2 penises. Would you like to pet my walrus? It's free! Damnit, lepers get to have all the fun. Bacon is so good. 20 foot tall flames of bacon. But man, it was reeeeally good bacon. There's a way to grow bacon. The path to righteousness begins with Christmas lights and talking dolphins. I get the clap when I play basketball. Three armed kids are the most delicious. Dear friends, can you afford to take a chance of missing the glorious rapture. If you wrap 4 rubber bands around a choco-taco, you get an orgasm. Yes, did you know that? Gerard Depardieu is actually a snowman. Potatoes make my VENUS jiggle. Knock knock. Who's there? Rutabaga. What? Yeah. Oh. I impaled a nun on an umbrella and now I owe the new pope $50 . right? Oh. I see your catch rag has expanded. It's because it hurts my arms.
and, obviously, this:
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