Last month's Detox Incident focused primarily on drugs and addiction. Conceptually, last month's Detox Incident was like a trip to Narcotics Anonymous - we were waning ourselves from a Madness habit.

We shared a lot, cried a lot, took lots of methadone and morphine, then created an issue about change, extraditing ourselves from dangerously comfortable places, and then moving into safety's open arms, now secure, and in some of the most boring times we had ever experienced.

It was addictive; it was illegal; it was fun; it became difficult - then it hurt. [sad face - Can we get a huge ridiculous sad face here?]

Here's what you said:

Dear Deek,
As a loyal reader of Deek Magazine, I was taken aback by the recent cover for the Detox issue. While I am usually not one to shudder at the site of such graphic images, I found this one particularly disturbing. Because of this, I would like to cancel my subscription. I have now decided to just read honest publications such as High Times, Cosmo and The Complete Guide to Flyfishing and Trailer Home Repair.

Thanks for your attention to this matter.

Reba Vail1926 Knoll Ln.
Canton, MI 48187
(734) 749-0572

Dear Editor,
Your edit of Bones van Peeblez' letter to the editor lacks merit due to the oversimplification inherent in substituting your cock for the subject of his sentiments, his addiction. While mildly amusing, the edit was churlish, arrogant, naive and thoughtless. However, it was laugh-inducing in its spitefulness and straightforward disregard for van Peeblez' childish addiction, something he likely could have conquered without troubling your staff with his personal hangups. For this I simultaneously applaud and condemn you.

Sincerely,

Mike
www.randomusa.com

Deek,

I find your magazine strangely annoying.

Bud Adams
www.sonicpictures.com

Deek,
If it isn't too late, here's a couple of fine quotes for the Religion Incident from today's Post-Gazette:

Rebekah Scott reports in her front page story that a box full of sanctified hosts was stolen from a Catholic church in Seward, wherever the hell that is. "Who knows what they did with the Eucharist?" wonders Lawrence Persico. "It makes you feel violated." Margory Cassidy commented, "I felt like someone had died." Stealing magic bread is just as bad as rape or murder. Good thing the Catholics have their priorities straight.

Mac Booker
Shadyside

Dear Deek,
You asshole. Where are we drinking. And find out where that goddamn friendfinder slut is. I need to practice my pickup lines. On the burner for this week: "Fuck baby, you smell like pussy."

Yeah yeah, now we're cooking with gas. And trust me, we don't need AFF to find sluts. You know what Meatloaf said? Good girls go to heaven, but bad girls go everywhere. A funny story about that song is that originally Meatloaf intended it to be "Good grills go to heaven, but bad grills go everywhere," and it was about his addiction to the George Foreman grill. Ronnie Dobson, a member of Loaf's backup band, suggested he change it to "girls" - ML's sexual prowess being the new topic. And thus a "star" was born.

I'll need to find some shrooms, too. Do you have a coffee grinder?

Kurt Deveaux,
Bloomfield

Dear Deek,
I tried calling Lindsay Lohan yesterday, but my phone exploded. And I contracted herpes. I'm totally calling Avril. Is this still America?

Love,
Alistair McGrizzlepot

Dear Deek,
Ooooh, dowgie, do we's got some beef! OK, you win, dissecting & reassembling this issue in order to read it drove me to madness! As did trying to read your ferry blue and orange fonts printed over dominating colors. One more thing, whoever gave the Maulie Keebler photo spread their seal of approval needs to have those cocks surgically removed from his/her eyes. If you're really that hard up for almost naked girlies, gimmie a call, I don't look nearly as offensive. No hard feelings if she's your special lady or sumthin.

Nicole
Carnegie