Volume 1 - Issue 12

Published November 26th, 2004

PUBLISHER
Nova Keenan

CHIEF
Matt Stroud

NONSENSE MANAGEMENT
Nate Bog(os/uszewski)

MINISTER OF PROPAGANDA
Benjamin A. Edwards

DESIGN OVERLORD
Doug Crissman

DESIGNER
Houston McIntyre

MASTERS OF COPY
Jesse Hicks, Mo Mozuch

ARTISTS OF SUBMISSION
Ziggy Cyanide, Robert Gray, Jean-Paul Manzanares, Ed Piskor, Mike Shapiro

WRITERS OF SUBMISSION
John Arterbury, Read Ashton, Colleen “Hotpants” Bayus, Greg Benevent, Zach Braden, Adam Corwin, Timmy Dallas, Clinton Doggett, Ian Flaco, Dr. G, Byron Ghede, Sam Hamilton, Bill Hendricks, Elizabeth Hollister, Robert Isenberg, Kari Limbo, Adam R. MacGregor, Whitey McGee, Melissa Meinzer, Johnny “Squib” Menesini, Ben’s Mom, Lance Remington, Abigail Rowland, Christopher D. Salyers, Jim Sazla, Thomas VanGenert, Keith J. Varadi, Mordechai X

MODELS
Soma Mestizo, Pepper Rocket (wardrobe provided by Kharisma Vintage Fashions; styled by Rachael Vallozzi)

SPECIAL THANKS
Nick’s Fat City and Your Mom.

BUSINESS
George Collasius, J.C. Ciesielski, Michael “Money” Pracht

INTERNS
Colleen Cassidey, Ali Nicholson

APOLOGIES
To Everyone. Except your mom.

Copyright 2004 DeekMagazine L.L.C.
Send correspondence to
DeekMagazine
P.O. Box 7502
Pittsburgh, PA 15213
words@deekmagazine.com

Ok, wir nehmen die Hände über den Kopf; und machen ein Dach daraus – und schreien: Pizza Hut!!! Pizza Hut!!! Jawohl, und jetzt wackeln wir; mit den Armen rechts und links so wie mit den Chicken Wings – und schreien: Kentucky Fried Chicken!!! Baby, baby, can you hear my heart? (No, I can’t. My cock’s too loud) Baby, one, two, three, we’ll start; Do you want to see my perfect body? Baby, come, let’s have a party. Oh, hello Bones. Radio waves. Radio waves. He hears radio waves. Radio waves. The atmosphere is thin and cold; The yellow sun is getting old; The ozone overflows with radio waves; AM, FM, weather and news; Our leaders had a frank exchange of views; Are you confused, radio waves. Cut my life into pieces; This is my last resort. Saying I love you; Is not the words I want to hear from you; It’s not that I want you; Not to say, but if you only knew. Straight as your toes pointing toward the bed; as you roll over and thrust your hardness; into the long tunnel of my wanting; straightening out my crooked past. I am reliable, sexy and fun! How do I know when it’s love; I can’t tell you but it lasts forever; How does it feel when it’s love; It’s just something you feel together. Again: Ball jazz. And Ben’s Mom. Round of applause. I will send you a photo through my agengy. 32, 25, 32. Cheeseburger. Machine or mannequin – secret secret – I’ve got a secret; With parts made in Japan – secret secret – I’ve got a secret; I am the Modren Man. Bless you. You gonna read shitty panties this evening? A small victory.

We’re really, really sorry.