THINGS THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES COULD EVER BE CONSTRUED TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ROCK AND ROLL

By Clinton Doggett

Shampoo

Alaska

Condoleezza Rice

Christmas/Jesus

Eggplant

Computer Science

The memorization of inane facts

Everybody Loves Raymond

Old Navy

O'Doul's Beer

Switzerland

Nail Clippers

Helping Old Ladies Cross the Street

Friendship

Unwanted Pregnancies

PT Cruisers

Yogurt

Buddy Icons