WHY CHICKS DIG ROCKSTARS

By Colleen "Hotpants" Bayus

The easy answer: Rockstars are sexy. Even the ugly ones.

There are a few things a girl can't resist and the idea of some hot lovin' from a musical God is one of them. Buried inside of every wholesome Sally schoolgirl is an inner cage dancer dying for a bad boy rebel to set her free. Well, come on baby light my fire.

Rockstars are notorious for being bad. They drink. They smoke. They trash hotel rooms. You don't bring them home to Mom and Dad - and we don't want to. The one and done, hit and run, is all part of the fantasy. A white house and 2.5 kids running rampant in a yard with a picket fence does not fit into the deal.

What gives? Bums on the street drink, smoke, and would surely trash hotel rooms, should they ever gain access. Why are guitar slinging studs and drummer dudes the objects of nearly every woman's desire?

It's a question that can be answered on multiple levels. The most obvious is that these guys are damn talented. Few are blessed with musical ability, let alone genius. It's a lucrative quality that is highly desirable. Be still my heart for a man who can wail passionately on a guitar, and when a sultry voice factors in as an added bonus. whew. Allow adequate time for breath to be caught.

Impressive displays of talent are precisely that; impressive and captivating. Amazing songs glittered with mastery of a given instrument just enhances the mystique and awe of a dude in the band. It adds an element of sensitivity and sensuality to the rough rock n' roll exterior, which sucks ladies in like a Hoover .

While rock studs have the gals captivated, they have free reign to play up their already established technical wonder with stage persona and showmanship. Front men in particular have the opportunity to be the complete center of attention in that specific moment, placing them in a position of power that drives females wild. Power itself is an elusive and attractive quality - just ask Monica Lewinsky. Throw in the hip swivel of Axl Rose, with the bend and lean of Steven Tyler, and you're left with a woman hypnotized; the only coherent thought racing through her mind being: "If that boy can do that on stage, imagine what he's like in the sack!"

Something about Rockstars is just so raw and passionate - it's engaging. What you see is what you get. And that's exactly what women want: The whim of a wild ride with a musical superhero, who is in town for a night, and gone before the thrill has a chance to fade into a mere memory.

The Rockstar holds the possibility for a release of inner inhibitions that don't dare to surface during the ho-hum blandness of the daily grind.

An honest, hardworking, chap with a sweet smile and suitable manners - he is the man we want to have at our side and go home to. A sweaty, talented-yet-disconcerted guy, with tattoos, who is plagued by internal angst and blessed with a sexy voice or instrumental talent - he's who we want to spend a lusty night with. Even if he's ugly.