To The Editor
Fucked up letter of the month
Dear Deek Magazine,
[SEE VALERIA PIC]
Valeria desperately needs your help.
So do countless children around the world who live in poverty.
Can you help them all?
Unfortunately, you can't.
Your mother? Yes, she's a whore.
You're imbeciles,
Bob O'Connor
Via the internet
Dear Deek,
Merry Holidays to you and the DEEK collective and we are all assholes but I am always willing to lend a hand if you need it and if not its cool I'm just glad that kats like you are getting out there and making shit go down.
Rob G
Via the internet
Dear Deek,
Reading the virtually illegible Madness Incident, I was reminded of a recent Craig's List personal ad in which a self-identified straight man seeks a cock to suck, but requires that no "gay crap" be included in the act. What, I wonder, was he afraid would happen that would be more gay than his running his mouth up and down over an erect penis for the purpose of mutual sexual pleasure? An orgasmic discussion of the proper greens to bring out the colors of spring flowers in a centerpiece?
Heinrich Head
Sewickley
Dear Deek,
I'm in love with Ann Lord at the bank.
As mad in love as hamburger.
As Popeye to spinach,
As Deucalion to Pyrrha,
As Ann Lord to the loot in the vault at the bank.
Rubric "Red" Puccoon
Via the internet
Dear Deek,
I need some sort of written explanation for this Pet article because I don't understand the concept. Or maybe I do and can't quite grasp the ... joke? Is it a joke? Or is it meant to be taken seriously? I only need about 30 words, from either you or she, explaining 1) whether or not she's really writing as a dog, 2) if she is, why, and 3) the name of her business, which I remember you telling me, but don't recall.
My life is a hell.
Thanks,
Sancho Brújula
Friendship
Dear Deek,
The magazine is sweet how it is, keep the pop punk beat downs coming.
Heather
via the internet
Dear Deek,
Can a German go to heaven if he becomes a naturalized US citizen, or is Eternal Happiness for those who are US citizens from birth only?
The Talented Mr. Booker
Dear Deek,
Why all the swearing?
Christina Mascicone
Squirrel Hill
Dear Deek,
What the fuck was up with that last issue. I get the idea that you want to be creative and unique and all the crap but, uh. I couldn't fucking read it. So where are you now?
Jim Kuzemka, fiend
Dear Deek,
Madness issue was easily the most ingenious idea for a magazine I've ever seen. I keep wondering what you'll do next, and you always surprise me. Keep it up.
Joanne DeBusey
Lawrenceville
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