Volume 1, Issue 11

Published October 15th, 2004

PUBLISHER:
Nova Keenan

CHIEF:
Matt Stroud

NONSENSE MANAGEMENT:
Nate Bog(os/uszewski)

MINISTER OF PROPAGANDA:
Benjamin A. Edwards

DESIGN OVERLORD:
Doug Crissman

MASTERS OF COPY:
Jesse Hicks
Mo Mozuch

ARTISTS OF SUBMISSION:
Houston McIntyre, Rob Gray, Piama, margaret mary, Laura Miller, Carrie Schneider

WRITERS OF SUBMISSION:
Read Ashton, Greg Benevent, Cornelius Blackshear, Tim Bodine, Mac Booker, Zach Braden, Delongpre Dannon, Winefred “Winston” Dingus, Kent A. Edwards, James Eldred, Palmer Eldritch, Chantrelle Fontain, Cantelle Fontain, Dr. G, Stephi Grasso, Piama Habibullah, Mr. Ho Jangles, Chesty LaRoue, Whitey McGee, Patricia McKean, Melissa Meinzer, Mandy Melodini, Ben’s Mom, Rob Rossi, Abigail Rowland, Jason Salinetro, Erasmus Santiago, Gideon Stargrave, Sid Stark, Austin Tasseltein, Keith J. Varadi, Irving Washington,

MODELS:
Heather Lucas, Nish Suvarnakar, Houston McIntyle, Jessica Robyn

SPECIAL THANKS:
Houston McIntyre, Al Mercer, Cathy McCollom, Pat Clark, thisishapppening.com

BUSINESS:
George Collasius, J.C. Ciesielski, Michael “Money” Pracht

APOLOGIES:
To Everyone

Copyright ©2004 DeekMagazine L.L.C.
Send correspondence to
DeekMagazine
P.O. Box 7502
Pittsburgh, PA 15213
words@deekmagazine.com
www.deekmagazine.com

Reproduction of Deek Magazine in any manner, in whole or in part, is prohibited without express, written consent of the publisher, who can be reached at words@deekmagazine.com. Deek Magazine reserves the right to edit all materials for clarity and space, and assumes no responsibility for anything, especially our sanity. Politicians are funny. From tyranny to elections. My opponent says he has a plan. I meet with tem all the time. Follow me into a mistake. More of the same over the next 4 years. There’s rumors on the internets that we’re going to have a draft. Ideology of hate. Mr. President, you’re batting 0 for 2. We’ve gotta create the great entrepreneurial spirit. Chris Reeve is a good friend of mine. I don’t want to hurt their feelings on national TV. Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country. You guys have blacks too!? I invented the internet. I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel. Who among us doesn’t like NASCAR? She usually goes on the bottom. Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican. I want to be Robin to Bush’s Batman. Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them. Bitch set me up. My fellow Americans, I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. I have survived an attack from a giant, swimming, killer bunny rabbit. He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on. No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You win the war, by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country! I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Ich bin ein Berliner. Oh drugs! I thought you said trucks! Nixon would have made a good pope. I never trust a man unless I’ve got his pecker in my pocket. So I was all like, trimming my ball jazz and whatever. We are very sorry. For everything.