Book (Short) Reviews

Vivid Girls #1

Vivid Comix -- www.vividcomix.com

Story: Steven Grant, Antony Johnston
Art: Juan Jose Ryp, Marco Turini, Carlos Fernando

I'll say this at the beginning to get it out of the way: I'm really not sure who the intended audience is for this book. Is there a lot of crossover between the comic book and adult entertainment worl.oh, wait. OK, yes, now I think I see it.

But still, how many copies of Vivid Girls #1 can Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons buy? Being a fictional character and all. [The answer is at least 2, one to read and the other to seal in mylar. -- Ed.]

So here's the premise: Vivid Girls Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, Savanna Samson and etc. "star" in a series of hardcore stories illustrated by the top talents in comics. I use "star" in quotes because these are, I feel I have to reiterate, drawings of famous porn actresses. I'm on the fence as to whether these are hot or not; the reality barrier may just be too much for me to cross here. But if illustrated porn is your bag, this'll probably do the trick.

Between the illustrated stories are hardcore photo sets of the Vivid Girls. One thing this juxtaposition serves to highlight is how hit-or-miss the likenesses are. I don't think you'd recognize Jenna Jameson (probably the most well-known face in porn) unless you noticed the faithfully adapted "Heartbreaker" tattoo on her ass. (Which I did, and gave myself a one-handed congratulations. Hooray for me, I said.) I'll admit that Chloe Jones, who I don't know, looks very hot in the story, "White Heat." I'll also admit an attraction to an illustrated woman hasn't left me this confused since Jessica Rabbit first entered my dreams.

-- Salvador McWindbag

Sex

By Madonna

Within the first couple pages of Sex, Madonna's character-of-the-moment, Dita, in full-page white-on-black text, says, "I'll teach you how to fuck."

Bold words, my dear. Bold words.

There are many things that Madonna's book can teach us, but I doubt that "how to fuck" is one of them.

For example: It can teach us that Madonna is an occasionally good lyricist, but when her words are written down, they suddenly aren't so impressive: "This is not a crime and you are not on trial. Bend over baby, I'm gonna make you smile." Every time Madonna tries to be profound or relevant an angel loses its wings.

I suspect that Her Virgin Majesty wrote much of this material in her high school diaries. Later she figured slapping it between some pictures of her biting a black man's nipples, snapping a riding crop, or with Vanilla Ice (remember him?) draped over her back would make it seem more controversial than it actually is. Sex , like anything Madonna does, is not about sex, but about Madonna.

So, as a public service, I will distill her life philosophy down into a few easy-to-remember catchphrases. These are all taken directly from Sex:

"Sex with the young can be fun if you're in the mood."

"I wouldn't want to watch a snuff movie."

"Only the one who hurts you can comfort you. Only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away."

"Telling jokes is really good."

"Phone sex can be excellent."

"I like my pussy."

"So you win some and you lose some."

-- Aleister Loinshanks

The People of Paper

McSweeney's Books -- www.mcsweeneys.net

By Salvador Plascencia

Salvador Plascencia's debut novel is the story of Federico de la Fe, a Mexican villager whose wife leaves him for another man. Overcome by sadness, he eventually makes his way north to El Monte , California . Along the way, little Mercedes meets the masked wrestler-saint Santos ; Merced de Papel, an origami woman literally made of paper; and a Baby Nostradamus whose thoughts are a black box impenetrable to the reader, all of whom have their own stories to tell.

As Federico tries to deal with the loss of his wife, he turns to burning himself and hiding in the lead shells of mechanical tortoises. He realizes he and everyone in the novel are being watched by the cruel planet Saturn, who may or may not be the book's author. Frederico enlists the help of the local gang and a pair of wealthy benefactors, declaring war on Saturn's oppressive eye.

Meanwhile, Saturn struggles with heartbreak of his own. As his characters turn on him, he tries to turn his lovers -- present and former -- into characters. Rewriting, excising, inventing, he tries to bring the world under control. This is easier written than done.

Plascencia's writing has the lyrical sensuousness often associated with Marquez and Borges, as well as a post-modern inventiveness reminiscent of Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves . These are the easy comparisons, of course, and to make them is a bit of a disservice to Plascencia's accomplishment: With The People of Paper he's written a stunningly original debut novel about the fragility of happiness, the pain of regret, about all the things that wound us and make us human.

-- Hester Exodus

H.P. Lovecraft: Against the World, Against Life

McSweeney's Books - www.mcsweeneys.net

By Michel Houellebecq

H.P. Lovecraft was a bit of a momma's boy. His father died when Howard Phillips Lovecraft was young; the precocious child (reciting poetry at age two, reading at three, and writing by six or seven) was raised primarily by his mother and grandfather. When his grandfather died, the Lovecraft family fell into financial ruin and was forced to move out of H.P.'s childhood home. From then on he became increasingly reclusive, locking himself away and penning some of the strangest, most disturbing stories of the 20th century.

In H.P. Lovecraft: Against the World, Against Life , controversial French author Michel Houellebecq dissects Lovecraft's appeal as a horror writer who influenced everything from Steven King novels to rock album illustration. (Metallica's "The Call of Ktulu" is a reference to one of Lovecraft's most famous stories, "The Call of Cthulhu," included in this volume.)

Houellebecq's essay is tight and well-argued, if a bit obtuse for those unfamiliar with Lovecraft's work. It was a smart idea for the folks at McSweeney's to include two Lovecraft stories, "The Whisperer in the Dark," and "The Call of Cthulu," alongside the Houellebecq essay; I'd recommend anyone who picks up the book read the Lovecraft stories first, and then dip into the main text. "The Call of Cthulu" is one of the "Great Texts," the series of stories that established Lovecraft as not just a writer of pulp weirdness, but a modern myth-maker whose "against the world, against life" philosophy captured the imagination of generations to come.

-- Don Caligula