Ask Your Pharmacist: Sound Medical Advice

By Joel C.

"Why you can't get it up, and what you can do about it."

So you're all set to have carnal relations with your significant
other, or perhaps just some pleasant random drunk you just met at the
bar. You're both ready for action and then you look down. Your
pocket rocket is not even close to being ready for lift off. Your
purple helmeted soldier is not standing at attention. Face it, this
happens to all guys at some point or another. What it hasn't happened
to you? Yeah me either, but hypothetically speaking it can happen.
The reasons are varied and stem from both physiological sources as
well as psychological sources.

The first thing to consider is your age. Are you a young
buck in the prime of your life, or are you decrepit and aged? If the
latter is the case, then you may have diabetes, high blood pressure,
or kidney disease. In all of these diseases the body suffers from a
breakdown of small blood vessels, including the ones in your little
buddy. With blood-flow less than optimal, it's a literal uphill
battle to achieve an erection. Some things to consider here include
dietary changes (stop eating at Wendy's and Arby's you fat bastard) as
well as vigorous exercise such as jogging or biking. If these
interventions prove futile, then skip ahead to the second to last
paragraph.

OK, so you're 23 and you don't have any of the above problems.
Why the hell are you limp? Perhaps you masturbate incessantly. If
that's not the problem, maybe you smoke too much grass. Merrily
toking away at the reefer has been shown in studies to temporarily
lower the sperm counts of those who smoke on a regular basis. In
addition, circumstantial evidence has shown that inhaling marijuana
smoke can make achieving an erection difficult. Same goes with too
much alcohol or too many Valiums or Vicodins. The bottom line is if
you get yourself wrecked (especially on a regular basis) don't expect
to get erect.

If none of the above describes your current condition, perhaps you are
suffering through a stressful time in your life. Maybe you are with a
new girl and the whole situation makes you nervous. Maybe you just
aren't stimulated by conventional means. Any number of things along
these lines could be a contributing factor.

There is hope, however. Millions of products are advertised
in the backs of fine magazines to help you pitch a tent. Ultimately
though unless the product contains yohimbe (which helps to increase
penal blood-flow) or saw palmetto (which promotes prostate health), it
is essentially junk. While neither of these products is FDA approved,
enough studies have been done that both of these claims are valid.
Additional bonus: You can purchase them at any store that sells herbal
supplements.

Finally, one could make the embarrassing trip to their physician and
request a prescription for any of the fine products currently
advertised an average of 7,000 times an hour (Yes I counted).
Currently, Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are the big three. Enough
information is repeated ad nauseum about these drugs, so contact your
doctor to see if Cialis is right for you.

In addition, a product known as Muse has been around for a number of
years. This medication is used via an intra-urethral route to treat
erectile dysfunction using a small pellet. For those out there
unfamiliar with the terminology, intra-urethral roughly translates
from a Latin origin to "you put something in the hole of your penis".
Hmm, I can't imagine why anybody has never seen an advertisement for
this one? I can see the commercials now. Cue to television wife or
girlfriend: "Now he can take me anytime he wants to, anywhere, as soon
as he shoves a pea-sized pellet into his cock. It really brought the
spontaneity of sex back into our relationship." Anyway, that about
wraps things up, so until next time….